Saint Peacock likes to think of itself as an individual of taste and imagination, open to new ideas and willing to splash around at the snazzier end of the pool when the situation requires it.
It also likes to use the internet for some of life’s more mundane activities, such as checking the draw for the quarter final of the Carabao Cup on the Guardian website.
And when not studying football or fashion, such as searching for clues as to where to find Jeff Goldblum’s sparkly rollneck, it also likes to meditate on the mysteries of data and algorithms, such as how for all the supposed sophistication of Google, Apple, Facebook, Amazon and the titans of tech, they still invariably manage to serve up products and services that miss the mark by a breathtaking distance. Such as here and here.
Somehow, the algorithm that governs whatever materialises in the ad slots of Farfetch, the high end online fashion retailer, has triangulated Goldblum’s rollneck, English football’s third domestic competition and whatever murky data makes up the Saint Peacock digital profile, and come up with an offering to make a grown man’s eyes swim.
Or as they might say on Ru Paul’s Drag Race, it’s serving up authentic billionaire oligarch’s son on a ketamine-and-Cristal Miami club vacation.
It’s certainly more lively than anything ever conjured up by Churchill insurance.
This though, is a new high in sales pitch optimism.
Just to be clear, on offer is a Dolce & Gabbana military print shirt “crafted from cool cotton”, and available here for £525…
…a Saint Laurent Olympia bag, which both “epitomises a rock n’roll edge” and goes for £850…
…. A Versace baroque quilted bomber jacket, yours for £1,970…
….A matching Versace Baroque print t-shirt which “teamed” with the above would pretty much guarantee to trigger a migraine in any pursuing DEA agent, and…
… a Comme Des Garcons “football print t-shirt” reduced to £68.
So that’s Saint Peacock all set for the World Cup in Russia.
Or at least the Carabao Cup quarter finals.