The Sunday Times Style section decided it was time for a “Men’s Fashion Special” this weekend, although Saint Peacock would very much like to take issue with the word “special”.
A page of watches, a page of bags, a 10-page fashion “story” (very thin man appears to be lost on abandoned aerodrome) featuring the kind of Sloane Street/Bond Street brands whose doormen used to say “Are you sure you’re in the right shop, Sir?”, and a spread of cords and jumpers, zip up tops and Chelsea boots that could have come from any time in recent memory.
Only on the “Welcome to the Men’s Issue” editor’s letter page did the “Editor’s Buys” (a Rixo polka dot dress, a red Mansur Gavriel sling back and a flask of La Femme Prada Intense) give any indication that they knew what it takes to make a man feel special.
However, for those who were able to push through the editor’s witterings about Love Island (a programme noteworthy only for its definition of “love” as narcissistic, self-obsessed, passive-aggressive, posturing and sulky) it was the page of bags where the needle really skidded off the record.
Starting at £460 for a Hartsfield Waxed Canvas Holdall, and shooting up to a Gucci Soft GG Supreme Duffel (£1,610), these are not bags you’d ever want to risk on a Gatwick Express luggage rack or any section of the night tube.
Indeed, you’d probably need another bag to put them in, such is their apparent value.
Or for those who take failure to surround themselves with luggage such as this.as a massive cock punch to their self-worth, the eye-watering cost comes in the form of the therapy required to restore their wellbeing.
Of course, the Saint Peacock fashion desk is familiar with the industry’s cavalier attitude to pricing.
And it is also familiar with fashion magazines’ hierarchy of loyalty (hint: reader, you’re not at the top).
But FFS Sunday Times, it’s not just “emotions” and “opening up” men need help with (although thanks for trying on that score with those two Love Island boys who fancy each other so much they shaved each others’ initials into their pubic hair).
They need genuine help with bags too – it’s going to take a long time to get them through the nylon and cotton canvas ceiling, and you’re not helping with these kind of elitist attitudes.